Dear Mr. Selig
My wife and I have a IRS
Tax Lien and no one will work with
us on a home loan. Please help.
My wife and I met when I was in the Navy and I still had most of
my hair. Our romance was a whirlwind of strawberries, champagne, melba toast
and caviar.
After
I was discharged I took a job selling timeshares in Las Vegas, and brother let
me tell you true, what happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas, because
those unscrupulous timeshare selling shysters stuck me with a whopping tax
bill.
Apparently, they 1099ed my “A - - ” to the tune of $86,000 plus
penalties and interest.
Eventually, the timeshare racket started to get me down, which
took a toll on my marriage. We tried everything to reignite the spark including
late night trips to sleazy little lingerie stores, ice-cold tequila shooters
and the occasional left handed cigarette. But nothing worked.
Finally we decided to move back to Brooklyn and start a family.
I took a 9 to 5 and went to law school three nights a week, and with everything
that was going on, we somehow managed to forget about our old tax debts. That
is until Mom’s next-door neighbor wanted to retire and put her house up for
sale. I’m telling you Selig, that little house was a happy little home, all
right.
So we met with a Mortgage Broker who gave us a Commitment Letter
and we were on our way. Not so fast! A few days later we were rejected.
Rejected because of that damn IRS tax lien.
The Mortgage Broker
didn’t want to know us. Out with the old, and in with the new. An insincere
smile crossed his ugly face as he sang “So long Sucker”
I was so furious
that I turned to the Bottle. Wolfschmidts Vodka.
And like they say in the Navy, “There’s a battle in every
bottle” I was so drunk that I don’t even remember getting on my
cousin’s jet ski, but I did, and now I have to live with the consequences of my
actions.
So please Selig, answer me this, why
can’t people with tax problems get mortgages?
Signed:
Homeless, Divorced & Serving Serious Time
for a Jet Ski related incident.
Inmate Number 1020000356
Attica Correctional Facility
639 Exchange St
Attica, New York 14011-0149
Dear Homeless:
Sometimes people with tax problems can get FHA mortgages.
Have a nice life (sentence).
Yours truly,
Mr. Selig
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